After a lack lustre performance earlier in the season, Puggy must have been surprised t receive another call up as Ill Culinary Behaviour took on the Vampires of Grim Fandango in Match Week 4. The match began with the Chef ripping up his so far spotless record by not claiming a single reroll from the Vamps – I guess that’s to be expected as they prefer their meals uncooked and conscious rather than stewed in the hotpot.
With a quick snap giving the Vamps a boost, they were soon flooding down the halfling flank, but Puggy got to work. Storming into the fray like a teeny juggernaut with a smashing blitz, Puggy knocked down one of the four Vamps. Instantly surrounded by tiny fouling feet, the Vamp was stunned out of action for the foreseeable. Next Puggy turned his attention of the ball carrying Vamp who had wriggled out of the side line cage and made a desperate bid for the endzone. Taking a run up, Puggy flew into the Vampire, smashing him to the ground with a clean POW to stun him. Then, as the ball flew into the air, he showed his pedigree as he pirouetted to catch the ball. The crowd went crazy as he single-handedly turned the game on its head.
Sprinting upfield, Puggy felt the years roll back, once out of range he handed the ball off to a rookie Halfling and bounded over to the treeman to throw him back down the pitch and once more into the melee.
This was it! Puggy was BACK! Sure, in recent years new stars like Karla Von Kill had come along and taken his spot in many a tournament team, but he still had the old magic. This was Puggy Baconbreath, the legend. His blood was up, his game was sharp, he was kicking ass and taking names. As the treeman lofted him high into the air he allowed himself a moment’s reflection on a career that scaled the highest reaches of the game. He was a STAR and he would show the world he still had what it takes.
Then he rolled a 1 for the landing and instantly died.
So, ends the ballad of Puggy Baconbreath. It’s true that the star that burns twice as bright burns half as long. Bustah Pines sheepishly apologised to his team mates and the Flings got back to the business of systematically fouling the Vampire team out of existence. Flavour Flavoursome Stew, the rookie Halfling who received the ball took the score home, but as a coach I could see that something had changed in the young fling. Puggy may have passed away but from death so comes life - and young Flavour Flavoursome Stew would be Puggy’s legacy.
And so it came to pass. The three vampires and three thralls that faced down the Flings for the second half could no more withstand the onslaught of Treeman firsts and halfling boots than a palm tree can withstand a tsunami. Flavour Flavoursome Stew got the ball safe in hand and the flings got to work. In a second half that lasted only ten minutes, the 8 turn drive ended with a second score for Flavour Flavoursome Stew and the whole Vampire team bar one Thrall fouled to the side lines.
Not a fun match for Coach Be4ch unfortunately, but I’m sure he’ll take solace in the part he played in the Ballad of Puggy Baconbreath and even more excitingly, the fact that Flavour Flavoursome Stew went on to roll an AG boost after the game. A fitting tribute to the memory of the wonderful Puggy – may he RIP in Piece.